I want to share something that is bringing up a lot for me right now.
Not all the time at everything, but sometimes at some things. When this happens I generally am more affected by the reaction of those around me than I am by my own reaction. Mostly because my own reaction tends to be quite loving and soft. I am gentle with myself as much as I can be and it has taken many years to cultivate this loving attitude toward myself. And generally, I am quite gentle and loving with others. Before I was this way toward myself, I was not always able to be this way toward others. I care way too much about what others think and how they react, especially those close to me, and I let it affect me WAY too much. I know I forgive myself, I know that when I fail, I only truly incur negative energy if give up or am blind to the reason why I failed. Sometimes I fail because whatever I was trying to do would not have served my greatest purpose here on Earth and was ultimately just a distraction from my path.
Two years ago I busted my ass in a 63 hour real estate class that ended with the hardest exam I have ever taken. Many people fail two and three times before they get the 70 out of 100 questions correct that are required to be licensed in Florida. I gave everything I had, all my time, all my energy, my all, and I walked out of those two weeks of work and exams feeling amazing because I did not fail. I passed. I knew I could, and I truly thought at that time that a career in real estate was what I wanted.
I thought that because my life was in shambles. I was not happy at my job, my relationship was on the fritz, I was living in a home that was being rented to me and yet was also being foreclosed on, I was trying to make a choice that would create stability for my family. Was I filled with joy at the prospect of being a real estate agent? No. Not at all. Did I think I could do it to help my family have what they want? Yes. So, I gave it my all. And, I passed. And, I did nothing with my license for two years because, as I have learned once again, I cannot do anything that is not in alignment with my highest purpose here on planet Earth. And, that path was not.
But, because I thought that I should probably at least keep my license active, I decided a week ago, that I should probably take the 45 hour post license class and exam so that my license would not be revoked... just in case I could be a referral agent if that situation ever presented itself. So, last week, among all the other responsibilities that I have in my life right now I thought, "why not throw one more iron in the fire!".
I mean, I'm only doing online school with two of my three children, nourishing and caring for one infant, I only have one child in public school, I'm only organizing one free market for my community to enrich and grow together while we help each other and hopefully find a tribe of like minded humans, I am only starting one cultured beverage business right now, I only have one house to take care of, one dog, and two cats. I only have one relationship that I am devoted to becoming the best version of myself for so that I can be the best partner for. I am only cooking almost all the meals for a family of six, doing almost all the cleaning and laundry and day to day work that it takes to run a house of six humans and four pets (oh I forgot to mention the only one fish that we have here too). Since my partner is almost exclusively the breadwinner and works two jobs, I am almost exclusively the one taking care of almost everything else. So why not think that I can go to school to be an alternative medicine doctor,? Why not think that I can cram for a 45 hour class and exam in three or four days? Why not?
Because I'm not superhuman. And. Because. I. Fail.
And, I failed last night as I was racing the clock to finish an exam that I didn't even really want to take because I don't even really want to be a realtor because I don't really understand anything about how buying and selling land makes any sense. I don't see imaginary lines on the Earth, places that are "worth" more than others etc etc etc. I am thankful to those that are realtors and are passionate about what they do. But, I am not passionate about devoting my life to that, and that's okay.
It's okay for me to fail at something I don't even want. I actually laughed at myself when I saw the final score of 60/100 and needed 75/100 to pass because I had a brief flash back of the past few days of trying to study while my children were running in and out of the house with multiple friends, counseling appointments, a sick baby, driving to Tampa to buy bottles for my new business, purchasing labels, a website, schooling online with Raven and Imani and everything else. I laughed to myself because I waited two years to take a test that I didn't want to take, and ended up taking it because I was afraid that if I didn't I would be failing at something. And, of course, I failed anyway. Because I didn't want it. Because it wasn't in my soul. But man I felt like shit thinking about how my family would look at me for being so irresponsible and for failing to prepare and failing to take the class earlier and for failing failing failing at everything else I have failed at in my life.
I love myself and am okay with my failures because they have taught me where my heart truly sits and which direction fuels my soul most.
My fear of my family thinking I was failing was why I decided I should do it. The fear of my family thinking I am a failure is like a black hole in my soul. I don't want to care so much about what others think of me and I am not sure that it is in my best interest to care so much, so in my most recent failure I have discovered that I am being asked to open to my own love and acceptance being enough for me. Afterall, I am the only one inside this silly skin suit and I am really the only one I have to hear think...
And you know what? I think I am a pretty cool chick. I think I do procrastinate and sometimes it
actually serves me, if not, I always learn from it. I think I handle the responsibilities and irons in my fire with grace for the most part. I think I am a really good mother. A good community member. A woman who loves herself and is devoted to her conscious evolution. A woman who loves her partner with all her heart and is devoted to his conscious evolution as well. I think I am doing a good job right now. One. Breath. At. A. Time.
<3 - Mama Lauren Isis Love
Find her on Facebook Thanks for letting us share Lauren! #truth #courage #love
It occurred to me while listening to a song about women and the beauty expectations of society by my new fav band from Michigan The Accidentals (Enlightened Sexism) that if we as women really felt the way beauty magazines, shampoo bottles, and make up products wanted us to, we would have the greatest self-esteem ever!
So I took a look at my shampoo and beauty bottles.
These are the words I found to describe the products:
- Strong - Healthy - Nourished - Enriched - Smooth
If I really felt those words, if I really believed them, I would feel that way.
We would feel that way just being women. But we don't. Why?
We look to the bottles to make us feel that way, and that is where things go hay wire. By looking for things outside of ourselves to make us FEEL something about ourselves, we automatically set up to be judge by others. We automatically give up the power to feel good based on someone else's view of us, based on someone else's view of the world and views on women in general.
If we could take those words: - gorgeous -hottest look - revived - extreme style - beauty - control and OWN those words, FEEL those words as who we are? Then we would buy the shampoo because of how it smells or works, not to be something the commercial wants us to be.
Just for today, take a look at your beauty products. Do not judge! (Yourself OR others.) Instead, turn them around and read the words on the back. What ones do you own? What ones do you feel about yourself already? Which ones would you like to feel about yourself?
Don't rely on a product to make you feel that way, own it! Use the word as an affirmation with a few deep breaths. Start using that word when you describe yourself. When someone asks "How are you?" Reply, "Healthy. Strong. Vibrant."
BE the word. Become the woman you feel inside by putting it out into the world.
To me you are amazing, incredibly silky, deliberately shiny, and spontaneously glowing! And when you feel that about yourself? You will be.
What words did you find on your beauty bottles? What ones will you own?
Love to hear your comments below or in our Mindfulness Mothers Facebook Group!
All my love ~ Jeannine
Well, it looks like I'm ready because in a few short hours tonight I was inspired and viola! We have a new logo! It has been a pattern like this all summer.
Up until now I had only thought of mindful ideas for kindergartners, the age that lies in -between my musical album and the mindful meditations for grade school that I wrote for Children of the New Earth.
The other day I sat and created 3 new Mindful Moments for Kindergartners and within days was able to complete an album ready for download on August 28th, 2016!
I have been taking photos of the gorgeous nature scenery that fills me up with life for many years and yet had not found a way to fully share them. Within a few weeks of coming up with an idea this summer for a Mindful Me Membership (starting in Oct 2016!) I had created the Peace of Mind postcards for MindfulnessMothers.com that are more beautiful than I could have hoped them to be. All within an easy few weeks.
And all of these are to be released this fall, not immediately, not rushed, but in their own time and in their own pace.
We are taught in our workaholic society to go-go-go and push it forward, make it happen no matter what. We are taught no pain, no gain. We are taught to kill ourselves for our work.
Mindful living has taught me that when the time is right, the creations are so smooth and so easy that it almost doesn't feel like work! (Except for the cramping of my hands on the keyboard and the time that passes too fast in the creative mode! :)
When it's right, it moves. It moves at its own pace. It moves in its own style. It makes its own waves. When we can find that groove in our life, be it with the children, family, spouse, job, writing, art, creative projects, or even friendships, we can allow life to happen in a beautiful movement that intertwines us in a spiral dance of love.
The new MindfulnessMothers.com logo expresses just that. When we are in the space of being open, listening to the rhythms of life, we interweave who we are with the world, with our creations, with our children, with our purpose, without pushing a square peg into a round timeline or box.
That is when the magic happens. That is when life opens its mysteries to us. That is when we are a part of the dance, not just a bystander or a conductor. We dance with life and life dances with us.
That is my hope and dream for each who may come to this site, to each who may in some way be touched by the amazing mama authors here and the words they let flow through them.
May we all dance together in this wondrous captivating enchanting world we live in. And in doing so, may we open up to the child-like awe within us as we care for the children we love.
All my love - Miss Jeannine
~ ~ ~ ~
Miss Jeannine Proulx is an author, creative, Intuitive Life Coach and founder of MindfulnessMothers.com
You can find out more about her at: www.aworldofpossibility.com
The Reality of the Rabbit Whole
Magic happens in the Rabbit Whole. You become giant or tiny. You meet interesting characters. You face your fears. You realize your dreams. You are alive in the Rabbit Whole. Living in this reality, requires courage and a jump. For to venture into the Rabbit Whole, one must release all hesitation and dive in with full force. You can’t travel halfway into the Rabbit Whole, then decide to exit. The Rabbit Whole is an all or nothing decision. Once you have decided this is your fate, there is no turning back. You can’t awaken to the Whole, then fall asleep again. If the Whole is calling you and you answer it, you must continue on the path.
We live our lives in a time oriented and linear format. The Rabbit Whole doesn’t subscribe to this order. People, plans, schedules, and stuff fill up our time, leaving little space for the Rabbit Whole. The Rabbit Whole is our time. It is soul time. It is sacred space. In facing the Rabbit Whole, we face ourselves. The more segregated we are from our true identity, the harder it is to return to the Rabbit Whole.
We exist in a fragmented society. We are separated by geography, religion, politics, and physical structures, for example. Technology is driving us further apart from others and from our own being. The Rabbit Whole is harder to find and further away then ever before. Yet, at the same time, it is right in front of us. We only need to “look up”. Sometimes we do trip into the Whole. Often times, we are led there by an inner calling or knowing, from the depth of our spirit.
Finding the Rabbit Whole, diving into it, and exploring the depths helps you to gather the separated parts of yourself and become fully whole again.
This is a life journey, bringing back the scattered pieces that you left behind from this lifetime and others. They are all a part of your Whole. They all deserve your attention, support, and love. The reality is you are a Whole being, but it takes determination and fortitude to discover this truth.
Susan J. McFarland
An interesting conversation today took place between me and the 18 year old check out boy at Target. We randomly got on the topic of the boring-ness of life, as conversations with teenagers are apt to do, and he commented "Life isn't like the movies."
No. It is not. Or is it? That got me thinking and I asked "If you could live in any movie, what movie would you live in?"
We ended up on a short but interesting talk about Star Wars and my now vintage Fifth Element before I went on my way. But the conversation stuck with me. What movie would you live in if you could live in a movie?
Would it be a drama? A history period piece? Would you live in the future? Or in another country? Would you live in a sci-fi adventure? Which one?
Sometimes in life we do feel like we live in the Hunger Games or wish we could be in a Rom Com marriage, but life? Is life. Life is life.
Asking your children, family, and friends this question can lead to some interesting conversations and insights into what is important to each one of you!
Sometimes it shows personality. Sometimes it shows adventurous. Sometimes it shows preference or what we like. Sometimes the movie we want to live in just shows us what we feel is missing in our life.
No matter what or where your conversation about your favorite movies ends up, it can be a fun way to connect with family and gain some mindful insight into your own life!
So, if you could live in a movie, what movie would you live in?
- Jeannine Proulx
In Michigan, Spring Break, occurring in late March or early April is a phenomenon. Around the time of the Spring Equinox mass amounts of humanity vacate the northern world in pursuit of warmer temperatures, beaches, and spring flowers. Traveling via car or plane can take you to sunny destinations within hours or days. As a youth, the family spring break adventure was thrilling, as we traversed through mountainous landscapes and green hillsides, admiring the red dirt. I wanted my children to have this same experience.
Times have changed. We live in an era of technology, with access to any and all information within seconds. Gone are the days of staring out the window admiring the unique landscapes and grazing cows. I still do this, because I am unable to read or view anything in a car, except the road ahead. Yet, my two teenage daughters are heads down in movie players, iPads, iPhones, and DS3’s. What are they missing as the miles roll forward? What are we all missing as we become more and more engrossed in our devices and less and less aware of our surroundings both human and non-human?
Vacationing near the beach off the Florida Panhandle, gave me the time to think and contemplate the state of my world. I sat on the porch off the master bedroom. In a cozy rocking chair, I was mindful of the gecko, which was hanging out under the cushion. Spending most of my week “device free” left me time to finish a book, draw a picture, take walks, and enjoy time with family. I stopped reading and watching videos from the inspirational sites I frequent. Checking Facebook or emails only a couple times of day left me less stressed and anxious.
How could I incorporate this behavior into my life at home? Could I give up knowing what everyone is doing? Could I give up the fear of not being connected? Could I live without the latest news on the presidential election? The answer is a resounding “yes”! My meditation this week was on “routines” and which ones need adjusting? This is definitely one that can be reviewed and reduced. As I mindfully navigate myself back from Florida to Michigan, I’ll bring this new routine with me.
Susan J. McFarland
Thanks to Susan J. McFarland for permission to use this from her personal writer blog!
Susan J. McFarland has been a student of spirituality and health for over
three decades. She loves writing, hiking, and traveling. She resides in Michigan with her husband and two growing daughters. Susan offers talks, workshops, and consultations on
living a balanced life.
Today I had an HSP day.
There was a tiny dark spot on the ceiling of the playroom that distracted me from my conversation with an education administrator. Instead of hearing her questions, I kept wondering what it was. I managed to answer the questions mostly because I had heard them all before and I knew the answers. But it took me forever it felt like to realize it was a scrap of paper someone had left there after decorating the room some time ago. I felt better once I knew it was not a bug or a water stain or something that could hurt me, but I had to hold myself back from grabbing a chair to stand up and pull it off the ceiling where I am sure it hung suspended from a tiny bit of scotch tape.
Shortly thereafter figuring that out, the children went for a walk outside. One of the teachers was wearing a Santa hat. This time my eyes deceived me enough that my companion turned to see what I was looking at. I smiled and told her I had seen the Santa hat, not able to say that the children walking by the window was enough to take my attention away from the very important conversation we were having, or that I was aware of each and every child's emotional mood, the colors of their clothing, and that they all were wearing hats. She explained the Santa hat as it was the only stocking hat the teacher had on. I put two and two together and figured they were having a stocking hat day.
I attempted to focus once again on our conversation, but I was very aware that the stitching on my jeans was itching my leg, as I tried not to shift in my chair too much, and that she kept looking at my eyes so much I wondered what she thought of me, and did everything I could to avert her gaze, even wishing I could put my sunglasses back on.
I held it together as we finished talking and went into another office room. There I was met with piles of papers, boxes, and plastic tubs filling the space so completely there seemed to be a haze of dust in the air. As she talked I could only hear every other word, piecing together the impertanint information and nodding my head as if I understood, when my mind was racing attmepting to figure out what all the things in the room were for and why were they stacked in random places everywhere. The animal hairs and dust on the person talking's sweater now became more evident, and my anxiety reached a bit of panic. I could not focus enough to talk, so I just kept nodding, hoping I was playing it off well enough that I didn't look totally a fool.
We finished our talk with seemingly minimal damage on my part, but as I walked out the doors I felt a sense of relief. I gulped fresh air and wanted to lay on the lawn to roll around and get it all off of me. This was not a practical matter, but instead a yearning within, that my adult self knew better than to do. So, instead, I took off the coat I had been wearing throughout the conversation, got into my car, put on my seatbelt and began to cry.
Another car pulled into the lot beside me. I pulled it together, rolled down the window and took a big deep breath. Wiped my tears, started my car, and drove home.
This was one hour of my day.
This happens everyday.
I see the dots of dirt in the floor corners of the bathroom stalls at Target. I can smell the overwhelming scent leftover from people in the aisles at stores. I hear the clicking of people's phones, and the way they breathe when they eat in restaurants. I can feel someone 'riding my a**' driving down the road. Even if they are 3 car lengths behind, I know when they want to go faster than me. Everywhere I go, I am bombarded with sights, sounds, smells, touch, emotions. It is a lot.
But the worst part is, I can't explain it to anyone.
It is like explaining colors to someone who is blind. If you do not feel what I feel, smell, hear, taste, touch, then I cannot tell you. I cannot explain that this keeps me from jobs, from life. I cannot explain that it is my greatest gift and at the same time a curse. I cannot explain.
But today I was reminded by one of my HSP mentors, the author SARK, that being honest is how we reach people.
And if I am to help the children, mothers, and families who are Highly Sensitive too? Then it is part of my job to share it with you.
There is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing to fix. There is no cure. It is simply the way my nervous system is set up. It is the way my brain works. It is the way my body experiences the world.
I have felt pleasure unheard of. I have seen sunsets that make me cry with joy. I feel love so deeply it shakes my whole body at the thought. My life is lived deep. There is no other way.
So even though today I tried to hide who I am to fit into a world that is not, I am proud of me for tonight, coming clean with the world and revealing all I felt today.... or at least that hour. (We don't have enough space for me to do the whole day!! :)
May you know that no matter how you experience the world, it is okay. We just need to find where our puzzle pieces fit.
And if you are highly sensitive too? Then you fit into my puzzle just fine.
All my love
Jeannine Proulx is an extremely highly sensitive author, Intuitive Life Coach, protector of children, and supporter of women, who likes to roll on the grass, soak up the sun, and dance on the beach... and dislikes cluttered offices.
I was at Panera working on my book today and a couple of parents came and sat down next to me. I could not help but overhear these new parents of toddlers talk about how to 'get respect' from their strong willed children. It made me smile, as I was considered the "strong willed" child when I was a child.
I was told I had a temper. I had meltdowns. I had attention problems. I was grumpy in the morning and needed lots of time alone at night. I was called cry-baby. I was a rebel.
I was never aware of what all that meant, other than it was bad and my family, my teachers, and society didn't like it. I thought it meant I was bad, that my emotions were bad, that me speaking up for myself and others was bad. I learned to keep my mouth shut and my head down. I learned that I was too much for the world.
I found, I still find, the one place that can handle all of my "strong willed" self: outside in nature.
In nature I can be me. Nobody criticizes when I laugh too loud or use my "outside" voice. I have not met one tree yet that scolds me for moving too fast or singing off key. The ground doesn't care that I am messy or that my bangs are hanging in my face or my shoe lace is untied. I can sit on a rock and not worry about how I look, how I sound, how I feel.
In nature I can just be me.
Further into the conversation it was said sarcastically that the kids never go in time out when they are outside. One mother then casually mentioned that the week their father watched them the children were angels. The father replied that that week the children had spent at least an hour outside every day.
The shock for me was not only that an hour outside was seen as a lot of time but that this simple idea of letting kids run in fresh air without walls closing in or parents yelling at them was ground breaking.
When did we start raising kids indoor zoos? And how can we change this?
It is time for more a new sort of parenting: Outdoor Lifestyle Parenting!
Skip the free- range parenting - go with your kids! Run on the beach, skip through a parking lot, jump rope down the sidewalk, hug a tree! Be outside with your kids as a part of normal, everyday life. Bundle up. Get dirty. Find the secrets of the woods.
Let them, let you, be free.
I just read another article today that said depression is caused my our indoor society, that our ancestors who hunted, gathered, and spent most of their time outdoors did not have the unsatisfaction with life that we have today. Now, granted, I love and appreciate having a beautiful indoor modern home, but I appreciate the sentiment.
Spring is here. (Even if it doesn't feel like it up north yet!) What a great time to start incorporating the outdoor lifestyle into your parenting, your life, and your children's lives.
Here's to outdoors! - From one who goes absolutely crazy when kept indoors and is very aware of how critical my outdoor time is to my state of mind...... Why wouldn't it be for kids?
- Jeannine Proulx
Jeannine Proulx is a nanny/ preschool teacher/ creative spirit who plays a mean game of peek-a-boo and loves the beaches of the earth. Her purpose in life is to support highly sensitive women, children, and parents live a conscious life!
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