Early years spent trying to be the perfect daughter, wife, and corporate employee left me anxious, stressed, and exhausted.
Releasing the perceived expectations of others left me free to explore and experience myself. Now, as a mother, I face a similar challenge while letting go of society’s and my children’s demands regarding parenthood.  My eyes are my own.  What I see is a reflection of myself.  I see past the dictates of my parent, husband, boss, or children, into my own self.  I behold what I want to behold.  
What I want to behold is the beauty in the world.  The beauty of nature and the natural world.  From the morning sunrise to the floating clouds and gentle rains, I want to watch with gratitude the tremendous beauty Mother Earth offers.  
For I too am part of this natural beauty born of the Mother.  
What I want to behold is the love in the world.  The love that envelops and energizes life and the life force that filters in every encounter.  Seeing the love of a parent for a newborn child, the love shared by couples on their wedding day, and the deep love of a child for a parent during their final hours together.  For I too am part of this love, born of the Divine.
What I want to behold is peace in the world.  The peace that resonates deep within and throughout my entire being.   Envisioning this eternal peace spread throughout the planet and into the Universe, I breathe in.  Breathing out, I release all conflict, hate, and negativity.  
For I too, am part of this peace, born of the Heart. 
Be.
Hold.


Susan J. McFarland
February 28, 2020

Sitting in mid-April with a snow-covered landscape, a day past a spring blizzard, I contemplated what season I'm in?   Do seasons really exist?   And if they do, how do I progress from one to the next?  I suppose the first season, spring, begins at birth?   Or perhaps winter is actually the primary season during the gestational period?   
 
Either way, youth has a sense of spring built in it.  Everything is fresh and new.   We are free to frolic in the green grass, stopping to imbibe the fresh air and fragrant growth of newly budded trees and blooming flowers.  In my youth, life was exciting and free.  I roamed the woods building villages out of sticks, mud, and stone by the creek bed.   Riding my bike for hours, alone, I would end up at the shore of a river, watching frogs and tadpoles swim by, as the sun descended upon the day.   Hurrying home, I would make it to dinner, after the whistle blew.  Life was simple during this first season.   
 
Summer comes and with it ventures in humidity and bugs.   Oh, summer is beautiful and special.   Everything is set for fun in the sun, but with it comes sunburns and temptations not considered in spring.   Sleep is shortened due to extended daylight.   Summer foods are abundantly tantalizing.  Our early adulthood is similar to summer.   Our education, beliefs, and career begin to be set.   As we proceed on our chosen path, we find the expected ”fun” comes with consequences to our health and well-being.   Summer set me on a course of destruction.   Overextending myself in work, exercise, and social engagements left little time for the nurturing rest that is promised during the supposed ”lazy hazy days of summer.”   Back pain, hypoglycemia, and seizures left me questioning my early decisions.   A change was needed.   A different direction had to be made to alter my current life or the final seasons would be debilitating.   I had to rethink how I viewed life and what was truly important.
 
The fall phase brings a transition of the greens of summer to an array of spectacular hues.  The accumulation of the fruits from the earlier laborious timeframe begins to flourish.   This season can feel like a glorious harmonic finale of a symphony.  All of life's knowledge, experiences, and wisdom blend beautifully to culminate into an incredible story of perseverance in the midst of constant change and unexpected twists.   Fall is beginning for me.  I see the colors change as my teenagers become young adults.   
Assisting my aging mother, I think about my own winter season.  Spring and summer have passed in my life.   Fall is my favorite season.  Here, I can become both a participant and observer as life falls by like a floating leaf to the ground.   Fall still offers adventures, but perhaps the daring aspects lay closer to the heart than the physical body.   I'm still learning and pushing my limits, but in a gentler manner then the exuberance of spring or the steamrolling of summer.   When the leaves are done cascading to the ground and the time to head inward begins again, I will be ready.  Ending in a transformation to higher levels of consciousness, I'll move into winter until the cycle begins again.   
 
Susan J. McFarland
April 15, 2019

 
Fog hinders the ability to see clearly, providing only glimpses of the true sights in our surroundings. Enveloping in nature, fog seeps into the nooks and crannies within our environment. It cannot be captured or bottled. Its essence permeates the entire landscape. Fog leaves a feeling or gloom and heaviness even though it is actually weightless in nature. On its own fog dissipates as the morning sun ascends.
 
Teens and drama are synonymous. A constant stream of emotions play out each week in my home. As the week progress’ they escalates as tiredness and boredom set it. Drama reminds me of fog. Weightless, it carries a heavy burden. Masking our vision of reality, We loose sight on the situation. Feeling lost in it, we succumb to a blurred vantage as our energy levels descend.
 
The good news is just like actual fog, the cloudiness that drama brings can be lifted. As light enters in we can clear the ”fog” away. As it burns off, a brightness ensues that illuminates our world. The key is letting the light-love in through nurturing and caring for yourself.
 
Susan J. McFarland
March 22, 2019

Experiencing a hiatus from the scheduled life we live, brings a newness and freshness to our inner landscape. The kids have been off of school for a full week. We are all ready to return to our daily routines. During this period, where the world has literally come to a halt, we have found exploration and connection still viable. 
 
My daughter and I talked about her start of high school next year, as she now has decisions to make regarding electives and a language. In the course of our discussion, she decided French would be her language of choice, for the school language requirement. Working with technology, we are studying French, through an App. She loves competitions, so we are learning together, one day at a time. We have bonded, while acquiring a new skill.
 
While raising children, it is important to continue your growth, as they change. Find a subject or a sport in which to engage in with your child. Maybe it’s new to you, or something that you love, that you can offer your child. I find, the time it works best for me, is when my children have an interest of their own and I follow suit. Challenge yourself to discover a link with your child that could last a lifetime. My daughter and I are already making plans to travel to France, after high school graduation.
 
Au revoir.
 
Susan J. McFarland
January 31, 2019

 
My daughter turns 14 this week. Her birth changed my life. Parenting starts at conception and lasts a life time. There is no vacation and no break. Continuously my mind is concerned for her and my other daughter’s safety. I don’t think this ends at high school graduation. My eighty year old mother still tells me to “watch for deer” every time I leave her condo. Ever bonded by love, the ties and connections run deep.
 
When she hurts, I hurt. When she celebrates, I celebrate. We are united in body, mind, and heart. The world tells us to detach. Removed from physical interactions, we hide behind our phones and computers. In the background, I hold space and place. When needed and called upon, love can be activated and active. Similar to energy, Love is unseen, but always present.
 
A parent’s love is like no other. It is deep and abiding. A village can help and support a child. It is necessary to have strong schools, churches, and friends, but I parent’s love goes beyond that which institutions and others can offer. A child needs a parent whether biological or adopted.

Knowing someone is present in their lives brings security and safety in this dangerous and changing world. Stability of home, family, and love are the cornerstones that uphold the wobbling teenage structure. Be the parent that your child needs. In steadiness, strength, and balance, continue to raise your child as the parent you know you are. The Universe thanks you. I thank you.
 
Susan J. McFarland
December 7, 2018

Love is deep and enduring.  Its presence, often missed, runs in the backdrop of living our lives. Yet, there are fleeting moments, when it sparks.

Holiday shopping with my girls, in our charming little town, sparked this love.  It was there throughout the night.  While driving home, as we were singing along to a song on the radio and laughing, love sparked.  Breathing in love and gratitude, I stopped to notice this magical moment in time. 

It sparked again this Thanksgiving, as family and friends gathered.  Sitting in the space of love’s presence, I watched it spark, as conversations flowed and hugs exchanged.  Its presence made itself known again, during the laughter from stories past, to the sharing of children’s accolades, of days present.   Love weaves itself throughout our days, sparking here and there, hoping to light our way.

As the holidays approach, where can you notice “sparks of love”? It is there, sometimes in the quiet, but often in the noise and chaos.  Look beyond the surface.  Feel it beneath the trimmings and decor.  It is subtle, but profound.  As gifts exchange, they become tokens of these “sparks of love”, igniting the world with light.  May your holy days be filled with infinite “sparks of love”, brightening your heart and those around you. 


Susan J. McFarland
November 25, 2018




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Clouds cover the sky. Rain looms in the forecast. A sleepy cat rests in my lap. The end of the week is here. A sigh of relief billows up and out. Tired from the upstart of school and traveling this past weekend, I sit. One daughter finished golf season last night, the other is still busy with cross-country. October offers a relief from the whirlwind of September’s schedule.
 
The last days of summer are drawing near, as leaves begin to change and release their grip, flowing seamlessly to the ground. At the same time, this season of parenting is changing. My children are releasing their grip on me. They are finding their way to the ground, flowing from one direction to another, not sure where they will end up. I am their tree; stable, steady, and strong. I am here, in the forest, waiting to see where they land.
 
The tree does not help the leaves let go. It does not pluck them off and throw them to the wind. It does not pull them down and toss them away, while they are still green. Its grip does not tighten, with every impending storm. It allows them to mature and transform into brilliant colors, then gently and with ease, delicately descend to the earth.
 
Nature provides brilliant lessons for us, if we pay attention. All that we need to know, is not solely found via a search engine. This innate wisdom can be located in our environment, if we stop, rest, and listen. The tree and the leaves are teachers of truths. Information that is felt from the heart, not the head is the lesson. School is in session. Kids are growing. Whether they are ready to let go and shine on or they still need to hold tight for another season, is up to them. You, are the tree. Remain grounded, firm, and flexible, as you nurture and prepare them for their next swirling and twirling adventure.
 
Susan J. McFarland
September 21, 2018