Not everything needs to be fixed, solved, mastered, or conquered. One of the causes of anxiety, is the belief that I need to be the one to resolve any issue, whether it’s a messy house, a dilemma between siblings, or the world orphan crisis. I take it as a challenge that I alone can fix. Where this belief of rescue originated, I do not know? It is deep and powerful.
Setting my own needs and wants aside to save other’s have been a life-long mission. Loving a challenge and the thrill of control over it, is like a drug, that ultimately leads to my demise. Striving to make things right for others, leads little time to listen to my own sacred calling. After suffering from multiple health crisis’, I am finally learning to see these as inferences of my peace, obstacles to avoid, where and when possible.
Mothering teenage daughters allows for practice of my new found concept. In the past, I catered to their every need and whim, hoping for them to find happiness and contentment. While this was necessary when they were babies, once they became old enough to be self-sufficient, the time came for the me to step back. My identity has been based on caring for them. They now, no longer need, want or desire my help, I am left at a crossroads. Who am I? What defines me? How can I keep peace and stability in my life? This is my priority. I am my priority.
Looking at challenges in my life as hindrances to steer clear of, assists me in staying balanced. As a sensitive, I am in tune with other’s emotions and I tend to own them. Because of this, it has caused untold anxiety over the need to find a solution, in order to regain control over the situation. In reality, it is not my issue to control.
This goes against cultural norms, as a collective consciousness, we are rewarded for taking action in matters that may not be ours to address. This denies the person responsible the satisfaction of working it out for themselves. Recognize your own challenges. Step around obstacles belonging to other’s, so you can see your path clearly.
- Susan J. McFarland
Susan J. McFarland