Motherhood is Enough
Celebrating Mother’s Day this past Sunday with my 82 year old mother and my teenage daughters brought tears to my eyes. It was a simple day. We traveled to mom’s condo, played cards, took a walk, and ate dinner.
It was one of the best days. The girls were happy and engaged. Mom was healthy and content. I loved the simplicity of it. We didn’t exchange extravagant gifts, a card and chocolate was enough.
Tears came to my eyes reading my oldest daughter’s card. Motherhood and is about being there, in the moment, as it is. This day required little to no planning, yet it was more profound then the ones I have exerted over in the past. In our culture, more, bigger, and better appear to be the goal. This is a falsehood. Simpler, easier, and less, actually bring greater lasting happiness. Appreciating the moment for its own sake is enough. You have enough. You do enough.
You are enough.
Middle school for my eldest daughter will be over in less than fifteen days.
It’s the end of a chapter for her and for us. She has come far from her elementary days. As this cycle ends, new opportunities await. Friendships are changing. Our relationship is changing too. This is not a time to hold on or hold tight. I loosen the grip, without letting go. She knows I’m there, in the background, called upon when needed. My role as a mother continues to evolve, as she evolves. Together, we grow, a process that is never complete.
Teaching her all I know and believe, she is now closer to being ready to handling life herself. At this point, pushing and prodding has decreased. Checking in without directing or controlling has become part of the transition. Learning to ease up on her and ultimately on myself is a point of growth in my own chapter. Our race is individual, but our score is collective. I can’t succeed without her, and neither can she, without me. Through all the adjustments, I’ll remember that no matter what, we are always united.
Life requires us to tackle that which we may not want to do. Waking up to ants marching around my kitchen this morning, I was in a tizzy before the day even began. My daughter, feeling the same energy, with an upcoming science project which required touching an animal heart and an evening concert, had us both feeling frazzled early. Knowing meditation, writing, and yoga were on the horizon, brought light to a stressful situation.
Life is not filled with perfect moments. On the contrary, it is a mix of both bliss and anxiety. Neither last forever. Both are fleeting. The key is being aware of this while in the space offered. Appreciating a sunrise while it is rising or not letting the cause of stress rule over you in the moment is the necessary response.
A new month brings newness. Anything can happen and will. Awareness and appreciation can help you maneuver any situation.
- Susan J. McFarland
Susan J. McFarland