Sitting in Uncomfortable
Days come and days go. We move through life often on automatic pilot. When things go smoothly we can feel “in the flow.” We get so much done. We feel accomplished. We can be in our mindful space, our mindful place, so well. We do our self-care. We journal, breathe, do our Yoga, and take our vitamins. But then life happens. Something changes drastically.
It can be something as simple as weather or illness. Our life stops. And there we long for the smooth times. We long for the times when we were “in the flow.” We feel we have done something wrong, or if we just could make it to Yoga or take that walk, all would be okay. We can get antsy or anxious. We can get crabby. We can get irritable. We can get lost in blame or frustration, taking it out on others or ourselves.
Sitting with uncomfortable feelings can be extremely difficult. We want so much for our lives or our world to be different than it is. We dream of it being different, easier, more smooth. We long for tomorrow when it can or should go back to “normal.” We wish. We want. We whine. We cry. We sigh.
Ultimately the only relief can come from acceptance.
Life is a series of daily issues to be dealt with, a series of problems to be solved. Sitting with the feeling that things are not as they should be can be painful. Whether it is your child acting out or the world politics or policies, it is the hardest thing ever to sit with the feeling of no control. It can be exhausting. It can take more energy not to do than to do!
There are a few things we can to do move into mindfulness and out of frustration. These work great when kids are uncomfortable too!
3 Coping Ideas to Deal with Uncomfortable
1. Breathe! Yes, it seems so simple. But when we are stressed or in anxiety we naturally hold our breath. It signals to our body that we are in fight or flee, which can cause us to be filled with more adrenaline filled energy. By breathing in and out slowly we tell our bodies and our minds that we are safe, that we are okay. This can help us move into calm faster than just about anything.
2. Find something else to do. Can’t fix the teenagers attitude? Go fix the squeaky floorboard that has been driving you nuts. Can’t get out to shovel because it’s -20 below? Clean the baseboards you have been putting off for years. Worried about the state of the world? Go volunteer and read to children. Connecting with others in a heart felt space can ease the pain. Can’t heal your ill relative? Make them a craft or some cookies that shows you care. Doing something productive that has nothing to do with the thing that is frustrating you not only help time pass until the frustration is over, but it will show your brain and body that there are things you can do. Feeling productive does help get rid of anxious uncomfortable energy.
3. Talk to someone. Call a friend, text someone who might understand, go to a support group. Talk. Share your feelings. Share your frustrations. It’s not about whining, it’s about finding some common space. And others may share your frustration, or even have some ideas on how to move out of it! But talking gets the thoughts out of swirling in our heads and out into the open space. It can be like letting the air out of a balloon about to pop. Instead of popping at others, let some of that air out first!
Life can be uncomfortable. It is not always what we wish it was. Moving into action and out of reaction brings back a mindful state where we can find some peace of mind.
Here’s to more peace in your life and in those you love!
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